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I was on a coaching call with a group of reps at a Series A start-up after analyzing and working through their current discovery processes.

Everyone appeared open to hearing the feedback I gathered except for this one person who fought me on every point.

Like, I shared 5 specific areas, and all were met with pushback.

Not aggressively. But persistently. Each piece of feedback was met with a reason why it wasn't the issue.

Their response was that calls were going fine and the reason next steps weren't being set were all on the client's side.

Their timing, priorities, and budget were the culprits but it had nothing to do with him, or the team, of course.

It was just how it was.

I've seen this before.

So I tried a different angle.

I said, “What if the clients weren't the problem? What if, because of what was happening (or not happening) throughout those calls, trust was slowly being eroded without the team even knowing? And by the time it came to setting a next step, the client was already checked out.”

He paused and reflected.

It finally hit him.

There's a concept you've probably heard before.

A fish doesn't know it's in water because water is all it has ever known.

So there is sort of this acceptance of it just is how it is.

That's exactly where a lot of founders operate in their sales conversations.

It's not hiding from the truth. The truth is just invisible because you’re so close to it.

You’ve likely got some grasp on the problem you solve, inside and out, and have earned every bit of expertise that got you here.

→ But that same proximity that makes you credible also makes it almost impossible to see your own faults clearly.

So when someone taps on the glass, and wants to tell you there is a problem, the first instinct isn't to be curious and listen, it’s to get defensive and say they don’t understand your unique business.

Here's what that defense usually sounds like.

"We lost that one on price."

"They went with a competitor."

"The timing just wasn't right."

Maybe. Occasionally those things are true.

But most of the time those are “fishbowl” answers. Comfortable explanations that live outside of you and your control so they can protect you from the harder question sitting right underneath.

By the time a client doesn't schedule a next step, you didn't lose them there.

You lost them earlier.

Maybe when you jumped to a solution before they felt understood. Maybe when you glossed over a concern they raised (or didn’t ask if they had concerns). Maybe the questions got too surface-level and “checklist-y”(making up a word here 😊)

Maybe they felt this call was just like all of the other vendors.

Discovery isn't just about gathering information. It's about building enough trust that the next step feels like a natural yes.

When that trust erodes pre-call, mid-call, post-call, the client might not tell you. They just get polite. And then they disappear.

You never saw it happen because you were inside the bowl.

Start with two questions after every deal that stalls or goes quiet.

Be honest. Do you even have all of the details to make this assessment? It points outward. What’s been stalling this or pushing it back?

That one points inward. And it's the one that changes things.

You might not always have a clear answer yourself (it’s why I do sales call roasts) but the act of asking it gets you outside the bowl. You have to get a bit uncomfortable and sit with that.

I talked about the Merry-go round a bit last week. The same mistakes repeating because nobody stops to review them.

It's not complicated. It just requires honesty most people avoid.

Record your calls. Listen back. Ask the second question before you settle for the first answer.

Awareness is a slow burn sometimes.

But now you know the water is there.

Think about a deal that stalled or went quiet in the last 30 days.

Write down your honest answer to both questions.

Why hasn't it come in? And what did you do or not do that might have cost you their trust?

You don't have to share it with anyone.

Just be honest with yourself.

That's how you start to step outside the water and diagnose the problem from a different perspective.

Reply and tell me which one was harder to answer. I read every one.

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