I was listening to a recorded discovery call recently.

About 7 minutes in, the buyer mentioned they were struggling with their onboarding process.

And that's when it happened.

→ The founder shifted.

They started walking through how onboarding should be structured.

Shared a framework they'd used before. Pointed out a few gaps they were already noticing in how the buyer described their current process.

This was their world. They could talk about this in their sleep. The founder wasn't showing off but just doing what came naturally.

The buyer loved it.

Asking questions. Taking notes. Completely engaged.

And when I got to the end of the call, I already knew what was coming.

The buyer got exactly what they came for…free advice from someone who knew more than them. Why would they ever need to pay for it?

That's the coaching trap. And it's more common than you think.

When a buyer hasn't made this a real priority, sellers try to compensate by teaching them what they should be doing, pointing out gaps in their process, or offering ideas and frameworks.

The call stops being a business conversation and turns into a coaching session.

Coaching without commitment feels helpful. But it removes accountability.

Advice is easy to accept. Change is not. When there's no cost to inaction, there is no urgency to follow-through. So, follow-ups go unanswered and the buyer "loses interest."

→ Spoiler Alert: They were never committed in the first place.

They shift the conversation from "Here's what you should do" to "Are you actually going to do something about this?"

You stop convincing. They start owning the problem.

You're not testing their intelligence.

You're learning:

→ whether this outranks their other work.

→ whether anyone is accountable for solving it.

→ whether delaying has real consequences.

→ whether this is active evaluation or passive interest.

Use these interchangeably depending on where you are in the conversation. You don't need all of them.

→ Pick the one or two that fit the moment.

→ "Where does this sit compared to your other priorities right now?"

→ "What other priorities are competing for attention right now?"

→ "How would you rank this initiative on your overall priority list?"

→ "If you only had time for one big project this quarter, would this make the cut?"

→ "How important is it to solve this right now?"

→ "Is there a specific event or deadline driving this timeline?"

→ "In a perfect world, when would you ideally like this solved?"

→ "What has this issue cost your team over the last 3–6 months?"

→ "If this doesn't get solved, what's at risk in your business?"

→ "What happens if this gets deprioritized?"

→ "What happens if you don't do anything?"

→ "If nothing changes, what does that cost you in dollars, resources, or time?"

→ "Is this something you're actively solving or just exploring?"

→ "Who on your team is accountable for getting this fixed?"

→ "On a scale of 1–10, how committed are you to solving this?"

→ "If you had to decide tomorrow, what would you still need to know?"

If the buyer can't rank this problem, name a consequence, or identify who owns it then it's not a real priority yet to have you solve. Now, that doesn’t mean they won’t use your advice to “band-aid” their problem or help decide on another vendor in the future.

And if you're doing more work than the buyer, the deal is already in trouble.

Coaching isn't bad. Sharing advice, offering a new perspective, or challenging their thinking is exactly what a great sales conversation looks like.

But when coaching becomes the central theme of the call, you've lost focus.

Go back to the objective.

→ Why did you schedule this call in the first place?

What were you both here to accomplish?

If you can't answer that, they probably can’t either.

On your next call, notice when you feel the urge to coach.

Pause. Ask one “priority question” instead.

If they're serious, the conversation will go deeper in that direction.

If they're not, you'll find out early.

Either way, you win.